Meet Dirty Dom in this fantastic stand-alone!
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Iβd like to tell you that Iβm ok.
That the meaningless sex with countless women has somehow numbed the pain. That itβs deciphered the constant confusion in my head. Eased the self-hatred that sinks into my gut every time I look in the mirror.
Iβd like to tell you that time heals all wounds.
That we evolve and grow into well-adjusted, stable adults, set on a path to right the worldβs wrongs. That we are not our pastβ¦we are not our pain.
I want to tell you all those things. Hell, I want to believe all those things. But Iβd be lying. Iβm good at that. Living a lie is the only way I truly know how to survive.
But the day I saw her, I stopped surviving. I stopped existing. And for the first time in 24 years, I started living.
She brought me back to life. Set me free and sent my soul soaring. Made this useless shell of a man feel likeβ¦something. Something whole and real and good.
She saved me.
Although she believes I wasnβt even worth saving.
This story chronicles the journey of Dominic Trevino, a character from Fear of Falling. However, it can be read as a standalone.
I approached her slowly, letting my eyes take in her soft, feminine curves. Thatβs what I loved the most about womenβtheir softness, their delicateness. It made them appear breakable, just like me. And it made me appreciate that vulnerability, in hopes that someone couldβand wouldβone day, appreciate mine.
Thatβs why even though I never offered more than a few hours of toe-curling pleasure, I assured each second was spent tending to their sexual desires and making them feel treasured. Just because I was a whore, it didnβt make me callous or uncaring. If anything, it made me more aware of my humanity.
I pushed it all away, trading my own hang-ups and idiosyncrasies for the mental numbness that sex could provide and did what I do best: Fuck. I was good at this partβtouching, kissing, licking. And when we were both readyβtoo ravenous with desire to consider my aversionsβI drove into her slowly, all the way to the hilt. Until her body completely covered mine and soothed the ache of loneliness with wet warmth. This was the feeling I had been chasing since I was just a child, barely a man. That sweet oblivion that only mindless sex could provide. I was made whole by emptying myself into another, and for the barest of moments, I became separate from my pain and anger. I became the type of man that could look himself in the mirror and not see the horror of his past standing behind him, its razor sharp claws cutting into the skin of his shoulders while it smiled in that sinister way that still made my skin crawl.
I had seen that malevolence in my dreams every day since as long as I could remember. Sometimes it was in the form of a smile, a laugh. Sometimes it wore the face of ecstasy and passion. But it was always terrifying.
I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling long after Alyssa had passed out in blissful exhaustion. She came twice, once by my tongue, the other with her ankles on my shoulders. She was a screamer, and I kept wondering if Angel would bust in here, wondering if I was fucking or killing the girl. Then, if Alyssa was up for it, sheβd join, like she had just this past weekend with Cherri. It wasnβt that we wanted each other in that wayβoh hell no. We were just betterβ¦together. It made it even easier to get out of our heads and lost in the movement of our bodies.
It was co-dependent like a motherfucker. And unhealthy. And unconventional. But it was all we knew.
Fear of Falling (A Fearless Novel)
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S.L. Jennings is a New York Times & USA Today bestselling author of contemporary and paranormal romance, reality TV junkie, obsessive coffee drinker and collector of crazy.
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Shannon
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