“What started all of this tonight? First I walk in on you having sex with yourself … then you grill me about having sex with Ramon … and then you suggest we have sex.” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “You’re making me crazy, dude. How much did you drink anyway?”

“Enough to loosen up and let my mind go places it normally doesn’t.”

His eyes light up. “I’ll say.”

“Hey, I’m really curious now. Will you let me fuck you? I promise I’ll follow what you want and take it slow.”

“Oh Jesus. Are you serious? So more experimenting, huh?”

“I think it’ll help me understand more about you.”

“You know when I said I needed more, this isn’t exactly what I meant. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of you fucking me is making me hard as hell, but it’ll just complicate things even more.”

“It doesn’t have to complicate things. Is it really so crazy to just want to make each other feel good?” I pause for a moment. “Come on, JJ.”

Lifting myself off the bed, I slowly approach him. As I get closer, I press my naked body into him so he’s up against the doorjamb, then I boldly rub my palm over his hard cock that’s trapped in his pajama bottoms.

I take a sharp breath because I’m shocked I’m even suggesting fucking my best friend. This is crazy, but feeling myself against him and imagining him naked under me is turning me on like a rocket with a sparking fuse.

He stands frozen, every part of him perfectly still, and then he gasps for air. “Please, Dean, please tell me you aren’t toying with me.”

I press my face into his neck. “I’m not toying with you, man. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I have all these confusing feelings and my curiosity is through the roof. I’ve been so damn restless lately, and suddenly I have a feeling that if I turn a corner, I might find myself right where I need to be.”

Jason slides his arm along my lower back and curves his fingers around my side, then pulls me closer. “Don’t make me hope for something, and then crush me. I wouldn’t be able to take it. Our friendship means everything to me. It’s why I’m still standing and fighting for a future, when for a long time I wasn’t sure if I deserved one.”

I pull my head back so we can be face to face. It guts me to see so much pain in his eyes. Why the hell didn’t I see all of this before? He’s my best friend, dammit. I should have known he was hurting.

He shakes his head. “I can’t lose you, Dean. I can’t. Tread carefully, man.” His eyes are glazed like he’s fighting back tears.

I take his hand and guide him into my room. “You aren’t going to lose me. Maybe this whole thing of me learning your secrets happened to bring us closer.”

“I want that,” he whispers, and then more softly he murmurs, “I want you.”